soapbox

 

I’m now crawling on top of my soapbox – so bear with me.

I just saw a discussion on Twitter between Jon Acuff (author of Quitter, Start and Stuff Christians Like) and several women (and a few men) over this tweet:

My wife, a female speaker, would be hurt by that: “I added 5 speakers: 3 guys, 2 girls”

I’m not sure where the original tweet is, but Jon must have announced that he had added 5 speakers: 3 guys, 2 girls to I’m sure an upcoming conference of his.

Another woman responds to that tweet with: Surely you mean women…

And then they all came swimming to the bloody water. You would have thought hell had broken lose!

To which Jon responds to all of them with (which he didn’t have to):

I said that cause “Guys and Girls” is a phrase, guys and women is awkward.

Yes. That TOTALLY makes sense to me. But not this lady, excuse me, woman, she, along with several other women (and a few men), then began to go through an entire diatribe as to why it’s derogatory, disrespectful and hard for women to be respected in this world, especially as speakers (of course a speaker herself) when terms like that are used.

Which of course makes me roll my eyes and reminds me of the time I was helping run an event where we had invited several pastors and their spouses. I say spouses, because there were women pastors invited to this event too. Read on and you’ll see why…

At this particular event I encountered a woman. I won’t go into the long drawn out version where she had saved seats (not allowed to do) and asked a black gentleman in a wheelchair to move from the seat she had saved. Yeah, I won’t go into the irony and derogatoriness of that.

I of course saw this happen and as I went to handle the situation I addressed her as, “Ma’am.” Which for me, when I was growing up, if you were older than me, was a sign of respect. But oh no…not to her. She took HIGH offense and said: “Excuse me, it’s Pastor.”

Wow.

I say all this because, well, it’s driving me nuts!!! Ladies, yes, we’ve had to come a long way to earn respect in this world, to have the right to vote and be seen as something other than a secretary, mother, wife and/or piece of meat.

But boy, (oh wait, probably shouldn’t use that term), have we gone in the wrong direction!!!

It’s time to get over it!! We’ve allowed ourselves to swing so far in the other direction that we can’t even take a joke or read a tweet without being offended.

 Yes, I know you want to be seen as someone respectable, I get that. Yes, I know you want to be somebody in what is still, really, a man’s world. I get that too. Been there, done that.

I understand where you are coming from! I was raised with a strong dad AND a strong mom. My dad’s a pastor, yet my mom spoke from the pulpit too (gasp!). And today, they travel and speak TOGETHER!

They raised two very strong daughters. And we were taught to value who we were and the gifts and talents God had given us. And some of those gifts were hard to deal with as a woman…

I’m Choleric as a personality trait with Command (according to Strength-finders) as my number one strength and Prophecy, Leadership and Discernment have a three-way tie as my spiritual gift. Talk about trying to make that work.

But my goodness, we have dug our heels into the ground so deep that we have forgotten how to be a lady. We expect respect, but really, it’s entitlement.

It’s ok that men are pastors, it’s ok that men are bosses and it’s ok that men be seen as the head of the household (gasp!).

And it’s ok that you speak too! It’s ok that you manage a team of both men and women, however it’s not ok that you be the head of the household (that’s another blog for another day) – but you certainly can marry into an equal partnership – which I’m grateful for every day that I have.

We have much to be proud of as women. God took great care in creating us as the beautiful, intricate and complex creatures that we are. But . . .

It’s time to let it go – the need for entitlement. I know I’m nobody in this big world to say anything, but I finally had to. It’s driving me crazy!

It’s ok that someone says he added: Guys and Girls…to a list of speakers. It really, really is ok. Don’t get your panties in a wad…get over it. Now stepping off soapbox.

germaphobe for life.

I now feel an appropriate time has gone by that I can share this story. It also helps I am in a new state (literally) and in a new season in life,  but it’s hard to say with social media around.

Around this time last year, I was asked to lead worship for our church Women’s Retreat. I of course was honored and freaked out all at the same time, but that’s another story for maybe never a time. : )

My mom and sister took the journey with me and we had such a blast together. I remember laughing so much, but I couldn’t even tell you about what. I think it was mindless and stupid stuff that only family or really close friends find hilariously funny when they are at the same level of delirium with you.

After a full Friday of working and traveling, leading worship and listening to the speaker, we got back to our room that the 3 of us were sharing. Somehow I ended up in my own bed, not sure how that happened because usually the mom gets that honor. However, you’ll see why it was a good thing for her . . .

Now, if you know me even a little, you will know I’m a bit of a germaphobe. And I married one too. Public bathrooms, hotels, hotel beds, planes, etc . . . they all just gross me out. I have been known to yank off the comforter on the bed immediately (don’t tell me you haven’t read those MSN articles about maids that tell all . . . you know!!!) and then I rip back the sheets and investigate. If it’s remotely dirty I ask for a new set of sheets.

This particular time, I remember pulling back the sheets, but didn’t see anything and decided it was clear . . . oh how wrong I was.

I settled in, Mom was about to turn off the lights and Sister was already half asleep. And then it happened.

I moved my feet all the way down to the end of the bed and my feet found something wadded up down at the bottom. Without even thinking about it, I reached down there with my hands and pulled out the wad – an item in each hand. Slowly I pulled it out and then it registered what it was . . . Adidas MEN’S SOCKS?!?!?!?!

I have never in my life dropped and thrown something so fast in my life!

My mom and sister died laughing, to the point they nearly wet their pants and I was appalled to the point of screaming?!

And then of course my mind began racing . . . were these sheets never washed?! Did someone sneak in our room and take a nap?! Oh Lawd, did the bathroom get cleaned?! And on and on and on my mind went.

But here I am the guest worship leader and all the rooms are rented out for this retreat . . . what am I to do?! I pondered sleeping in my car. But just decided to fully clothe myself and sleep in the fetal position all night . . . which means I think I slept about 30 minutes.

I’m telling you, if it’s gonna happen to someone, it will happen to me.

So, new thing added to the ever growing and long checklist: Check the end of the bed for dirty socks.

P.S. Later that night, Mom was complaining about being cold and wishing she had a pair of socks and I said, "Oh, I have an extra pair!" "Oh good . . . you do?" (totally not getting it) "Yep, down at the end of the bed on the floor."