Pretty Girl on the Move

KISS Wannab

As I write this I’m sitting in a Nashville Starbucks. You get to see quite a few characters here. I think everyone is connected to the music business some how. Right now I have a wannabe KISS band member and a wannabe Jimi Hendrix nearby. It’s quite entertaining to say the least. Jimi smells like he hasn’t had a shower since playing Woodstock in 1968 so I’ll be moving tables shortly. Seriously, my eyes are beginning to water.

Jimi Hendrix Wannabe

For those of you that haven’t heard…my husband got a job in Nashville, TN as a youth pastor. So he asks me to marry him and move across country with him in less than a year?!? I’m actually not bitter about it at all…it’s an exciting opportunity for him. I just like to be dramatic about it.

So the big move happened on Wednesday-Friday of last week. Packers came on Wednesday, which really is a story in and of itself. These guys were funny! Country as all get out! And I’m having fun trying to interpret their spelling on my boxes:

Guest Bedroom  = Gust, Pillows = Pilliows, Linens = Lenns

They got gun-ho and said they’d have everything done on Wednesday, which meant all “pilliows” and “leens” got packed up. When they pooped out around 2pm, that meant our night’s sleep consisted of sleeping on a couch, with no pillows and a mattress cover as a blanket. Awesome.

They loaded up everything on Thursday and hit the road. We spent the night with my parents on Thursday night and left early Friday morning at 6:45am. Our goal was: Sunrise in Texas and Sunset in Nashville. Who knew that it would actually turn out to be: Sunrise in Texas and Sunrise in Nashville.

Leaving my family consisted of quite a few tears. But I won’t go into that now because that would make me cry all over again. Really, I am excited about this move. Promise.

We stopped at a Cracker Barrel on the outskirts of Texas…made it to Texarkana and right when we were about to roll into Little Rock, AR around 2:15pm…the trip took a turn for the worse…

Brent’s AC started blowing less than cool. So we started calling places that could take us in immediately, and we found Arkansas Air. Friends, this place was a TRIP. Whatever you do…DO NOT go here for your air to be fixed…but PLEASE do visit the waiting room. We stepped in and it was like slipping into a time warp…we were immediately in 1975. This place had shag carpet, pleather sofa and chairs (with ash trays), which was ironic because above were signs that said, “Thank you for not Smoking.” And the artwork was AWESOME!

Think I had an Op T-shirt like this

We expected to walk out of there with spending no more than $45 because that’s what the estimate was for. They were supposed to tell us before they did anything. So 2 hours later when they rang us up for $140…we were SHOCKED! We at least talked them down to $70…but all they did was flush Freon…CRAZY!!!

After feeling totally ripped off…all we wanted to do was get back on the road and out of Little Rock as fast as possible. We decided to stop and get something to drink at Starbucks. Side note – two very crucial stops to make any road trip awesome are Cracker Barrel and Starbucks. Cracker Barrel you’re usually guaranteed clean restrooms (which we two germaphobes appreciate) and Starbucks for the obvious – CAFFEINE!

 We found one, exited and pulled through a neighborhood to get to it. Please keep in mind that Brent is pulling my car behind us on a 2-wheel dolly…this is VERY important to remember.

Bout to hit the road...little did we know

The trip then took an even bigger turn for the worse. We pulled through a stop sign after a massive rush of traffic and as we started turning left…we hear a loud, “BA-BANG”…and as we turned left…my car came off the dolly and continued to roll on right beside us . . .it was seriously the most surreal thing I’ve ever seen.

I immediately started screaming and trying to get out of the car. I’m not exactly sure what I thought I could accomplish by getting out of the car. Apparently the Wonder Woman in me decided I could stop my Chevy Trailblazer barehanded.  As I’m trying to get out of the car, Brent is screaming, “NOOOO BABE….NO!!!!” and locking the doors. All he saw was a significantly less than Wonder Woman wife about to lose her flip-flops and get run over by a car on the loose.

It hit a TREE (ruining my bumper and hood) and then started rolling backwards…into oncoming traffic.

At this point…the next appropriate thing I knew to do was grab my face and begin screaming, “JESUS, JESUS, JESUS…please make it stop!!!!!!” By the grace of God it stopped…before hitting any other cars. UNREAL!

Apparently Brent thinks he really is Superman because he pushed the car out of oncoming traffic. Show off.

I call 911, because that’s the only thing I know to do and Brent calls U-Haul, his probably made more sense, but I at least thought cops would be friendly and help outsiders out. Um, not true. Do your best to not get in a wreck in Little Rock. These guys showed up – 30 minutes later. Told us we needed to move our cars (NO Kidding, Sherlock), and proceeded to tell Brent how he SHOULD have done things and tried to start our car, WITHOUT our permission. My car was totally nondrivable because the drive shaft had been disconnected so the transmission wouldn’t burn up (I sounded really smart right there). In blonde terms, if you started the car, it made an awful sound.

The car couldn’t be reconnected to the dolly because the safety chain was broken. Yep, you heard that right. The SAFETY chain broke. Kinda ironic.

To make a long story even LONGER, we were left by the cops, transferred over and over by U-Haul, stood on the side of the road for 2 hours, and FINALLY got some help from U-Haul. I may or may not have told Sherry from U-Haul in no uncertain terms that a tow truck show up ASAP or else.

Tow-guys showed up, one being from Australia. This made Brent’s day. When the guy started explaining things, Brent unknowingly responded in the same accent. HILARIOUS!

Our angel, Odell, happened to be at U-Haul. While I was taking pictures to document our “adventure” he came over, very concerned that I was taking his picture for “Candid Camera”…poor guy didn’t know Dom DeLouise doesn’t exist anymore.

Odell gave us a FOUR TIRE dolly, and then the tow guys reconnected my drive shaft. As Brent and the other guy laid under the car with him…all I kept thinking was, “How many guys does it take to connect a drive shaft.”

"How does this keep happening to us?!"

Odell trying to figure it all out.

Once it was all said and done, we were hot and sweaty and ready for something to eat, because by this time it’s after 8pm. Remember, we pulled in at 2:15pm. We stopped at Red Lobster (a little scared – also important to remember) and when they brought us our food, mine had hair in it. I’d like to tell you I was surprised, but in my family we like to call this the Miller Curse. If it could happen, it will happen to us. And APPARENTLY, changing your name doesn’t help.

scared to go inside

Yep, we have officially broken up with Little Rock at this point.

Next time we drive back home to Texas, we will avoid Little Rock at ALL COSTS. You think I’m kidding, but I promise you, we don’t even care if it takes us longer…we will AVOID that city. I’m sorry if you are from there.

We get back in the car at 10pm and hit the road. Poor Brent is beyond exhausted but I made him keep driving. I blame my dad and pawpaw for this one. ; ) I have the road warrior instilled in me. We DO NOT STOP for anything until we’ve reached our destination. No spending the night – PUSH through at all costs. I think Brent’s still bitter about that.

Anyways…to keep him awake, I played everything from Metallica, Van Halen, MJ, Aerosmith, Rocky IV soundtrack, Devil Goes Down to Georgia, Christmas music, ANYTHING to keep him awake.…

Somewhere around 2:30 IN THE MORNING we pull into a church parking lot. Yes, I acquiesced and we slept for about an hour. I’m still a bit bitter about that part.  Keep in mind I’m not allowed to drive because of the dolly. He doesn’t trust me. Next time we will be doing things a bit differently. Trust me.

After we get back on the road, around 4am, while I’m screaming some anthem at the top of my lungs, I look over and Brent is sniffling. I quickly turn down the music and ask, “Babe, are you ok?!” “Yeah, it’s just so surreal?!” “What, that we’re actually here in Tennessee?!” Bigger sniffles, “Yeaaaaahhhhh” Whimpering, more sniffles and actual tears “I’m just soooooo tired!?!?” Brent hardly ever cries, but ladies and gentlemen, the Academy Award went to Mr. Warren that night. He.was.delirious!!! I kinda felt bad for pushing…but only kinda. We kept on truckin…

FINALLY, an hour and a half later, we pulled into our new driveway at 5:30am…and I wish I could say safe and soundly. Right when we pulled in, we heard a “thump…thump”…yep…that would be the sound of a flat tire. Awesome.

Brent said, “I can’t even believe that would happen?!?! Wait. Yes. Yes I can.”

My dad happened to be up and we text him what had happened and he said, “Step away from the car until the exorcism has been completed.”

Worst.Trip.Ever.

Go ahead, you can laugh. You know you want to. I think I’m finally at the laughing stage…maybe. You might ask me on Friday…it really all depends on how U-Haul responds.

Blurry...kinda like our vision after being up 20 hours.

P.S. Still waiting to hear back from U-Haul. . .