bathrooms & break-ups

Have you ever had a horrific break-up or falling out with someone? Most people go straight for the hard stuff -chocolate or ice cream - over something like that. Some even go hit the gym extra hard, just to prove to the world, especially to the ex…“Oh yeah, I still got it…eat your heart out!” Not that I would know…

Well, several years ago, during one of the most stressful seasons of my life, I had a break-up. And even though this was done by my choosing…there were still repercussions. Instead of going for the tub of ice cream, the gym or beating the crud out of someone’s car Carrie Underwood style…I chose the bathroom. I already hear you saying, “I’m sorry, WHAT?!?!” Yes, I chose at that moment in time to do some retail therapy by remodeling my bathroom. It was very cathartic. Only problem, I didn’t think this thing through. I got my sister in the car with me (FYI…it’s good to always have a buddy during seasons like this…they keep you somewhat tame/sane) and at that moment in time I said, “I want to remodel my bathroom.” I can still hear her saying in her calming, don’t alarm voice, “Okkkkk????” This means…I have no idea what you are about to do…but I support you, mainly because I don’t want to anger the beast.

We drive to Bed, Bath and Beyond at 8:45pm, keep in mind they close at 9pm. At that moment in time I start getting an idea of what I want to do and I just start throwing items in my basket. Shower curtain, check. Matching accessories, check. THEN…I saw the towels. Apparently they were having a massive sale on towels, and man alive, did I have a hay day. I just started picking out colors, feeling the texture, rubbing them against my face, having my sister touch them, then throwing them in my basket. Allyson is freaking out at this point because they’ve already given the 5-minute warning over the intercom and apparently she’s seen the real price of the towels. She starts taking them out of the basket…and I scream…“NOOOOOO!”

Again, not wanting to anger the beast…she just decides to go along for the ride, no more interjections…and we go up to the counter to check out. By this time, it’s after 9pm and the workers are none too happy. The lady starts ringing things up and I look at the register and I start to get a little flushed. Allyson just starts shaking her head in the, “I told you so” kind of way. Knowing I can’t anger the clerk anymore than she already is…I just grin and bear it. Final price: $375.00. Yeah, those towels SO weren’t on sale…and apparently they were made of friggin silk or something.

After taking it all home and surveying the damage…my sanity comes back to me and I realize what I had done. Wow oh wow. Needless to say, I had quite a big return the next day. Retail therapy fail. If I’m gonna spend THAT kinda money…better be showing off a completely different set of assets…like… I don’t know…SHOES!

“she’s a pretty girl”